Saying Yes
by jailynn
Summary: Summer's POV; first person. "Saying yes. I had my reasons. I could give you a list." Summer/Sasha, mentions of Summer/Steve. Please review; love feedback. Short One-shot


**Title:** Saying Yes  
><strong>Fandom:<strong> Make it or Break it  
><strong>Couple:<strong> Sasha/Summer, Summer/Steve  
><strong>Warning:<strong> Do you know that Summer is engaged? You do, awesome. You're good.  
><strong>Timeline:<strong> After the last episode.  
><strong>POV:<strong> Summer's; first person  
><strong>Completed:<strong> Yes  
><strong>Feedback:<strong> Please and thank you  
><strong>Rating:<strong> G  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Oh not mine. Not even close. The character belong to others. I'm just borrowing them for my own amusement

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><p>Saying yes. I had my reasons. I could give you a list. Some would seem petty and worthless. Some honorable and loving.<p>

Lauren needs a mother. Needs someone to guide her through the landmines of her teenage years into adulthood. In my heart of hearts, I believe that person is supposed to be me. God put me here for a reason. He, in his great wisdom, knew this is where I needed to be. I will not turn my back on her. I will not abandon her like so many people have. She couldn't take that. It would destroy what little trust in the world she has left. So saying yes to him, giving her a solid ground to land on- it's important.

I do love Steve. The man that has fought so hard to be better than himself. A man that shares my values. Sits with me at church, holds my hand. Loves me, doesn't push me. He is secure. He gives me what I need. He's everything I want...should want.

But don't. Not anymore.

The ring on my finger is heavy. Flashy. Big. Expensive. Nothing like one I would pick. It screams to the world, while I prefer a quiet announcement. I twist the white gold around and around. Trying desperately to get used to it being there. My pen hits it with each movement of my hand. It's cumbersome. Sliding it over my knuckle and off feels like freedom. I'm sure that's not how its supposed to feel to someone that is saying yes to a proposal of marriage.

Sounds of training girls fill the empty space of the office. Giggles pass by. Words that I can't understand said from one gymnast to another. Stealthy, I place the ring in the zipper compartment of my purse. The sigh that escapes is another show of relief. Another bad sign, I guess.

Saying yes. I did it for the right reasons. I have a list. A long one in fact. It's full of right answers. Smart and logical responses to any question. Some may sound clinical and cold. Some may appear perfect and sensible.

I feel safe at the Tanner house. It is built to last. No cracks in the walls. No pictures out of place. No metal rivets to hold the exterior up exposed to the world. Brick and mortar. It won't drive away and leave a barren space and lots of heartache behind. It will be there long after I will. Built to stand the test of time. That's what I need. Something to stay on the ground.

It doesn't hurt that Steve has money. Not that I would ever marry for that. It's not that important to me, but I can't deny that it's nice. It is a relief to not want for anything. A worry off the list. We'll never struggle financially. I can continue to give to those in need without stressing that I won't be able to pay my car insurance or my student loads.

He wants to wait to make love until we're married. I don't have to explain why I want to hold off. He gets it. The kisses we share are pleasant. No burning need to push against my moral boundaries. His touch...gentle. Breaking away never seems like the last thing I want to do. Not to say that I don't enjoy being in his arms, because I do. Steve is a very loving man and a masterful kisser. It's just... I can't help but... remember.

Passion- isn't all it's cracked up to be. Passion leads to making rash and stupid decisions. Look at where Emily is- that poor girl. She's left wishing and thinking of what could have been. Her young body changing to accommodate a baby she isn't prepared for all because she gave into passion. Like I almost did. Like I would have done... I would like to think I would have regret my choice. I would love to believe I would have had the strength to stop it before it got too far. But I don't trust either of those thoughts and hopes to be true. Because I don't think I would have stopped it or regretted it. My lust blinded me. It clouded everything. He clouded everything. He still does.

Saying yes. I know that I'm making the safe choice. I have my reasons. I can recite them to you if you would like. At times they might seem strange and lacking. At other times, they reveal a deeper and stronger resolve.

The door to the office opens and he walks through. My heart speeds up and becomes heavy. Like the diamond does on my hand when I wear it. His light blue T-shirt clings to his broad upper body. Licking my lips, I force my eyes away. It's too easy to recall exactly what it felt like to have his body pressed against mine. Strong muscles under soft skin. Heat that burns, but also calms surrounding me as we embrace. I still dream about him when I know I shouldn't. I think about him when my mind settles into a fantasy.

Sasha leans against his desk, his arms crossing over his chest. His blue eyes, haunting and clear, watch me as I nervously bounce from one foot to the other. Energy zapping my senses, making standing still impossible.

"Summer," my name quietly escapes his perfect mouth.

I want to cry. I want to scream. I want this love I feel for him to leave me, like he did all those months ago. Instead I look up and let a shaky smile fall upon my lips. "Yes."

He opens his mouth. Closing it quickly again. His eyes drop to the floor. Mine join them. He takes a deep breath. So do I. Tension coils around us like a snake tightening it's hold. Goosebumps dance along my skin, I rub my arms to get rid of the sensation. I see movement out of the corner of my eye, lifting my head, I swallow. He stands in front of me. His arms extend, his hands cup my shoulders, gentle touch that feels anything but gentle. Blood sings in my veins. My body comes to life with him so close. I inhale his scent- spicy and clean. Our eyes lock. The connection between us becomes a tangible thing.

If he were to kiss me now, I know I wouldn't have the strength to push him away. The thought scares me. It doesn't scare me enough to take that necessary step back however. His tongue moves across his bottom lip and he starts to speak again. This time words leave him. I wish they hadn't though.

"I just wanted to say," he smiles, it's halfhearted and weak around the edges, falling almost immediately. "Congratulations on your engagement. I wish you only happiness."

My heart, the one I thought had been fixed, cracks along the already broken lines. Fresh pain sears through my body. With it's release I can take that step out of his arms. I don't even try to smile as I say, "thanks" in the smallest voice I've ever heard escape my body. Feeling there is nothing more to say and needing to get away, I reach down, grabbing my purse and leave the office.

The walk to my car is done in a blur. Unlocking it is second nature. Climbing inside before the tears fall is the only conscious thought that I can say penetrates my brain. I rest my head on the curve of the steering wheel and feel the wetness coat my face.

Saying yes. It's a choice I had to make. I have my reasons. Right now all of them are choking me. Cutting off my air supply. I could have listed them for you before, but now all I can say is: I said yes.

The End~


End file.
